When your clinical practice moves you out of alignment with a hero’s teachings. Why Gabor Mate is the ‘idolised parent I now disagree with’ regarding tech-addiction pathology and how this feels like a repeat of my adolescent angst.

During the last few years I have had the pleasure and privilege of attending many conferences with some of the big greats in my field on more than one occasion (Tongue in cheek-I have a conference addiction). These have included my heroes Stephen Porges Daniel Siegel, Louis Cozolino, Bessel van Der Kolk and Gabor Mate to name a few (Maybe/perhaps a name drop addiction too?). In 2015 I spent a number of days with Gabor watching and listening to him recount his books and life and I watched in admiration as he listened to those in the audience who spoke out and were clearly in pain and using his direct manner went straight to the heart of the matter. It’s not like long term psychotherapy I can tell you, more so like Tony Robbins and his 3 sentence interventions. I watched as people lined up to speak with him and each and every time, he was powerfully present with each one and this meant he missed his coffee and lunch break. He never seemingly complained. He was the most compassionate, present and caring speaker, it was an absolute pleasure to be in the room on those few days. I jokingly said to my colleague he will be the new thing soon in the U.K and then seriously said I can’t wait to see how his work will be applied in our field, referencing his book on…